Why Valentine's Day is a crock of shit. (And also Not Feminist.)
Valentine's day is a crock of shit. I know this. You know this. We all know this. Why do we insist on it still being a thing? Someone just needs to call time on this abomination once and for all. No one actually enjoys it. No one looks forward to it. It needs to crawl under a rock and die slowly.
Now you could say, "But Vix, haven't you just been dumped and isn't this just a bitchy post because you're bitter and single now?"
And I would say to you, "This may be true, but I would still be angered by Valentine's day regardless." Here is why:
There are the obvious reasons as to why it's a crock of shit. There's the oft used complaint of, "It's a made up celebration, purely for the greeting's card industry/merchandise shops to make a quick buck." Very true. There is the also the other oft used and equally valid complaint of "You shouldn't just be showing you love your partner on one day, you should do it all the time." Also very true. But this goes deeper -
It's just not very feminist.
Reason 1. It turns "having a boyfriend" into a competition between women. I used to work in an office that was 90% women under 35 and Valentine's day was literally "Who can get the biggest bouquet of roses 'unexpectedly' (yeah right) sent to the office/sat on their desk when they walk in." It was vile. Same goes for Facebook/Twitter/social media. #luckygirl #loved #lookatmebeingbetterthanyou #myboyfriendsbetterthanyours. Urgh. Your relationship is not a competition. You do not need to compare it to other peoples. Just stop.
Anything that turns women against each other = not feminist. Seriously, I have no truck with women bitching about other women, or trying to get one over each other. We need to stick together and celebrate each other, not tear each other down constantly. So Reason 1 that Valentine's day needs to go in the bin.
Reason 2. It can make single people (most likely women) feel shit about the fact that they don't have a partner. This is Not Feminist because it fuels the notion that the only way for a woman to be fulfilled and happy is to have a boyfriend/husband, i.e. all there is in life is getting married and having babies and that is it and you should aim for nothing else and if you don't have these things you are a failure and if you don't even WANT these things you are a complete freak of nature ohmygod??? how can you not want children but that is our purpose?!?
Having a partner/being married/having kids is great, there's no shame or anything wrong in doing/wanting any of that, but being made to feel like a failure or outcast in society if you don't have one (or don't want one) is not cool.
Reason 3. It's really fucking awkward for people in the early phases of relationships. Especially if you're definitely together but haven't said you love each other yet. This is a fricking minefield I tell you. Do you get a present? Just a card? Ignore it completely? Say I love you? What if they don't get me anything? What if I don't get anything and they get me something? What does it mean if we do something? Does that mean they're getting really serious? What if we don't do anything? Does that mean they're not getting serious? Could I have any more questions? Could I question this relationship any more? Maybe all these questions are actually having a negative impact which could be completely erased if this stupid non-holiday didn't actually exist? This isn't feminist because it's society making you question and second guess your own damn relationship for no reason, instead of just letting you, oh I don't know, get on with it, rather than measure it up to what society tells you it *should* be like, or what you *should* be doing. Bin.
Reason 4. The poor saps (ie men) who are *supposed* to spend money on this bullshit. Like really? £20 on roses? You poor fuckers. And if you don't do anything when it's expected you get it in the neck, because you obviously "don't love her enough". (Because yes women, him not buying you crappy garage flowers on a specified day definitely means that he doesn't love you, and definitely doesn't mean it's just a bloke who's forgotten because they all forget cos that's how their brains just are...) Like that's a rock and a hard place isn't it really.. so reason 4 is your friendly reminder that Patriarchy Hurts Everyone and Valentine's day is pretty shit for everyone. It's shit for women, it's shit for men, it's shit for single people, and it's shit for couples.
Now, what shall I rant about next??
